Sentimental Journey

Don't be afraid of storms_edited-1Recently I took a long, long journey – a sentimental journey of a thousand miles and many years. I drove from Florida to New Jersey with my dog, Liberty, to meet my new grandson and daughter-in-law.

My grandson was 6 weeks old that weekend and, when I held him in my arms and looked down at his sweet little face, I had the physical sensation of time pulling me backwards. Could it really be 40 years since I first held his father? Time was playing that old trick on me, the one where it feels like you’re remembering some other lifetime but it could also have been just yesterday.

As I gazed down at my grandson, I was overcome with waves of emotion – certainly great joy, but also sadness because I already felt an ache for all the times in his life that I won’t be there. Matthew and Nanna 9-8-17I don’t want to live where my son and his wife live and they don’t want to live where I live so this gaping distance will always exist between us and I will have to accept that. My daughter-in-law’s parents, who live in the same town, will be the ones who babysit and who will be a regular presence in my grandson’s life. They will be frequent visitors to his house and he to theirs. He will celebrate Christmas and all the other holidays and special occasions with his mother’s family and I will be the disembodied, slightly unreal Nanna he talks to through the computer, the one he only sees a few times a year. It will take him a long time to understand that I’m a real person and not a character on TV! I know there are many people who have grown up far away from their grandparents. My parents immigrated to this country from England when I was five so I only knew my father’s mother through letters and photographs. I have friends who live far from their grandchildren. At least these days we have computers and smart phones and, yes, I’ll utilize them to stay in touch but, I haven’t quite adjusted yet to the fact that I won’t be able to be a “hands on” grandmother. I guess I’ll get used to it but, right now, it’s still hard to accept.

For now, I’m just trying to focus on how happy I am for my son that he has finally settled down and has a family and home of his own. It is obvious that he is happy – happier than I’ve seen him in a long time – and I enjoyed seeing him in his new roles of husband and father. I was pleased to see how loving and protective he is of his wife and child. He fully participates in all aspects of caring for his son but, more than that, I can see that he genuinely takes great pleasure in him. I always knew those qualities were deep inside him but it’s so gratifying to see them come to fruition. I felt so proud of my son; I even allowed myself a moment to take some credit for the man he has become. It was a long, rough road for both of us!

I can’t write about this journey without mentioning my wonderful little travel companion, Liberty. She not only spent many hours in the car without complaint but, she also adapted beautifully to all the changes involved in staying at a hotel and two rentals – not to mention visiting my son’s house and his in-laws. She was very interested in the baby – the little noises and movements he makes all attracted her attention and, of course, he smells like milk! I could see that she was distressed when he cried and I think, given a bit more time, she could become quite protective of him. When my son, the germaphobe, was out of the room I let her lick the baby’s toes – no harm done!

Liberty & Matthew 9-10-17

Liberty guarding HER baby!

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Stuff I Like- Part 4

Ocean dreaming 001An October morning at the beach!!

My tolerance for the heat and humidity of the summer months here in NE Florida has decreased over the past few years so I don’t go to the beach as much during those months as I used to but, the spring and fall are delightful. I especially love October and November and, during the years that I had a timeshare in St. Augustine Beach, I always went in late October/early November. The early mornings and nights are cool, the air during the day is warm but, not stifling, the sky is usually clear blue and there is almost always a pleasant breeze. Another bonus is that the beach is quiet in the fall because it is in between family vacation time and the arrival of the “snowbirds” so there are very few people around. I almost feel like the wide open space belongs to me. I live close to the beach, just a 10 minute drive, but my favorite beach is a few miles north of where I live and well worth the few extra minutes it takes to get there. Even the drive is a pleasure – an officially designated scenic highway that winds through a lush hammock, over an inlet, and offers beautiful unobstructed views of the ocean. A rare treat on the East coast.

I was waiting for a day with cooler temperatures and no rain in the forecast so I could put Liberty in the car and head for the beach and that day arrived this week. The timing was perfect because I had been feeling a little bit blue and I knew I needed to take what I call a “happiness action”. We got there and were walking along the shore well before 9 and it was a beautiful morning – I could feel my mood lift. Yes, I practice what I preach! I don’t wait for someone or something to make me happy – I find it for myself.

I have a 20′ retractable leash for Liberty that I only use when we go to the beach so she can run in and out of the ocean and chase the sandpipers. The first time I took her to the beach, just a couple of weeks after she came to live with me last April, she was afraid of the ocean. Every time a wave approached she ran the other way! I walked along the shore, where the water is shallow, and gently encouraged her to let the waves wash around her feet. Gradually, she realized the water could only reach as far as she allowed and that began the relationship she has with the ocean to this day – she loves to run in and out of the waves as they rush to the shore but she never lets them wash over her! It brings me great happiness to watch her play – her pure joy is contagious! She met a black Lab, who was also enjoying the ocean, and they ran around and leapt at each other for a few minutes while his owner and I laughed at their antics. She also met a nice little boy and an elderly man who stopped to greet her. Liberty is a social bridge for me and I often speak to people who I wouldn’t have met if I was alone. No wonder I refer to her as my “therapy dog”.

After our walk we enjoyed a drink and some snacks and then Liberty stretched out in the sand and watched the birds running along the shoreline and the people walking by. As I wrote in my journal, I kept pausing to gaze at the ocean and the blue sky and I thanked God over and over for such a beautiful day. All this beauty and happiness cost me nothing but the gas for my car! Makarios 🙂

We don’t make ourselves happy, but we can make choices that lead to happiness. ~Randy Alcorn

Fun in the ocean 10-15-15 beautiful morning at the beach 10-15-15

See more of my artwork and books at Lynda Linke Productions

Stuff I Like-Part 2

Simplicity copy

Simplicity. I like simplicity.

In relationships (romantic and otherwise):

I don’t like a lot of drama (or melodrama) or complications from either friends or lovers. I’m 64; I’ve done complicated and difficult. I’ve walked on enough eggshells. Now I want the simple, low stress of being with people who like and accept me as I am and for whom I feel the same. I like a shared sense of humor – you know, when explanations are unnecessary. I don’t like hidden agendas, ulterior motives, or deception. I don’t have the time or energy to figure out where you’re coming from. I don’t like bragging or self-aggrandizing. I like honesty, integrity and humility. I like people who understand the difference between sympathy and pity, understanding and judgment, analysis and criticism, and curiosity and intrusiveness.

I do my best to live by two maxims “say what you mean; mean what you say” and “live and let live”. Pretty simple.

In my home:

I don’t like clutter. I have a one car garage and I actually have room to keep my car in it. I’m not the type of person who would ever need to rent a storage unit. In decorating, I like simple lines and warm colors and not too many knick-knacks. Many years ago I read a quote by a famous designer (I can’t remember his/her name) “Only keep what you feel is functional, beautiful or of sentimental value” and I have followed that 99% of the time (there is always the odd item that I’m not quite sure what to do with!). I like to go through my belongings every couple of years and weed out anything that no longer fits one of those categories. It must be a zen thing because I always feel mentally lighter afterwards and, believe it or not, when my house is clean and uncluttered I actually feel cooler during the long, hot Florida summer.

In my personal “style” (I’m using the word “style” loosely here):

I live in northeast Florida where, most of the year, my wardrobe consists of shorts, T-shirts, tank tops, sneakers and flip-flops. In the cooler months I add jeans, sweatshirts and long-sleeved shirts. I don’t like a lot of “frou-frou” – just plain, simple, comfortable styles. One of my favorite T-shirts has a pair of tiny flip-flops and the word “simplify” on the front, which I think kind of sums things up. I don’t like to get dressed up and, since retiring 4 years ago, I don’t have to! I wear whatever is easy and comfortable for ME.  So far, the only benefit I can see in getting older is that I am finally comfortable with who I am. I say, whoever you are, just embrace the things that make you unique and don’t change them for anyone. Now, that is simple.

In my attitudes about life:

Somewhere over the past few years, I was blessed with the gift of experiencing simple joy. I believe I got there through practicing gratitude. Gratitude is a conscious way of thinking; whereas, joy is an unbidden and uncontrollable spiritual experience. It is much harder to describe a feeling than a way of thinking but, I think there is a connection between these two. I think the active and consistent practice of gratitude will naturally create the right environment for experiences of joy. Unfortunately, many of us are too focused on chasing pleasure, especially when we’re young. Don’t misunderstand, I think pleasure is great and adds a lot to life but, it shouldn’t be confused with real happiness – and certainly not with joy. Pleasure brings a temporary feeling of happiness but when the pleasure ends so does the related happiness, which means you have to continually seek the next “pleasure fix” in order to experience the happiness again. Joy is a much deeper, more textured form of happiness; it will take root and it will expand your soul but, it is not affected by the presence or absence of pleasure. Pleasure can change the moment; joy can change your life.

It is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

 

Sittin' on a dock of the bay

Sittin’ on a dock of the bay … (can you hear Otis whistling in your head?)

See more of my artwork and books at Lynda Linke Productions